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How to walk through a riot

Here are some basic guidelines on to how to deal with riots.

1)      Are people throwing Molotov cocktails or stones large enough to cause brain surgery after impact? If the answer is yes, you have a serious riot. If no, this is just people bitching.

2)      If you are covering a riot, you are not involved. Whatever the point is, you are neutral. Remember this!

3)      If you are neutral, the safest place to go to is the neutral zone between wherever the cops are and the protestors are. This is counter intuitive but you want to be in the empty space. There is usually a thirty yard gap between the lines. Try to be between them.  The reason is, when the shit hits the fan, you can high tail it without a crowd around you,

4)      Always calculate an escape route. If people are crowding you, this is way bad news. People crowd just before they strike. Think about protective camouflage. A sport coat and chinos usually works against the cops. For women, something similar.

5)      Are the protestors turning on you if you are in the neutral zone? If yes, spend 5 minutes trying to argue the point and figuring it out.  Are the cops turning on you? If yes, get the fuck out of there.

6)      Know your cops. The way U.S.  or European cops cope with riots is way different from third world riots. In third world riots, you’re part of the bang bang club.

7)      Both first world and third world cops like tear gas. Learn to deal with tear gas. A wet towel on the face helps. Either that or throw the cartridge back, which makes you a protestor. The best deal is to suck it up. Same with pepper spray. Acting helpless after you are blind from pepper spray usually helps with the first world cops. Not always though.

8)      Do not look at anyone with a full frontal stare. This is a known behavior deal with primates. You stare at someone, and they become edgy. At the same time, smile, this prompts people to believe you are not a threat.

9)      Be mobile. Constantly shift your position.

10)   Finally be a total goof. No one walks through a riot with a pen and paper taking notes. Except journalists.  This works except when it doesn’t. Your call. In Yugoslavia they shot people like this.